One week later..

It's been a week since my heavy bleeding and cramping.   A week since my miscarriage began (or so I believe).  I've gotten on with my life, but that doesn't mean its gotten easier.  Any time I have to myself I find myself wondering "what if?"

What if this hadn't happened?  I'd be 8 weeks along now; I'd be getting closer to seeing my little one on the screen for the first time.  I'd be preparing the big preggo announcement!  But no, it didn't happen that way.

What if my body had accepted the pregnancy? Would I be having more symptoms? Would I experience the "morning" sickness?  How big would my belly grow? How hormonal would I be?  What weird, if any, cravings would I have? What else would change?

All those little things many pregnant women complain about, I would give anything right now to be experiencing them.  When, and if, I get pregnant, I will love every second of it.  I know that already.  I'm not going to take any minute of it for granted.

And then, sometimes, I still imagine that there is a possibility that maybe all the signs, hormone blood tests, etc. were wrong.

Yes, I've blamed myself also.  What could I have done differently?  Is there something wrong with my body?  Will this happen for me.  But, I have to keep going along.  I have to remain positive.  Keep thinking this was just a part of life I had to go through.  Something to make me stronger.

We'll try-try again soon.  I am continuing with my vitamins and hope/pray this happens soon for us.  I know now, we're ready.

EDIT- quick read right now while I'm trying to figure out to navigate through this blogger looking for other insightful blogs but found this: http://www.scarymommy.com/coping-with-a-miscarriage/

I enjoyed reading it.  It truly explains things.

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Sunday together.

I think a great tip whenever in a any type of relationship is time together and time apart. I haven't been married long, but we have been together as a couple for almost 7 years.

Usually Sundays are our days to spend time with one another. And we did. Breakfast out, movies (TMNT-loved it!), lunch with his family, grocery shopping (my favorite thing to do together). Then, lately we've started going to go play softball on Sunday evenings (well actually he plays I cheer him on lol). Today, after all the time spent together this morning, I let him go alone. He was a little hesitant at first to leave alone, but I assured him it wasn't a trick. You know how we women can get with all these "do you love me or not" tests.

This time is good, this time is healthy. I think one of the number one tips for any relationship for sure.

Until the next one, (maybe teacher lifestyle since we're about to start),

Diana

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It's a no.

So we took the test, turns out I'm not expecting. Which is good, but at the same time disappointing in away. I was already looking forward to the pregnancy months.

I really did get my hopes up for a second, but it didn't work. We'll see when and if this will happen for us.

Until then, I'm out!

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Almost 2 Months

So its about to hit the two month mark of being newlyweds, and what has changed?  Well absolutely nothing.

Honestly, but I really do believe that's a good sign.  Then again, maybe it's too early to tell.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day (and I do indeed mean the whole day) cleaning up our lovely house. And my goodness, didn't know two people (and two dogs) could really make that big of a mess! I need to learn some life hacks on how to clean quickly and efficiently!  Well, because, lets face it, cleaning quickly isn't that hard. Heck, that's what me and hubster do most of the time.  Not this time, nah uh, I went the whole way.

I do have to admit though, it was fun to begin with, then it just got tiring.  What did I sign up for?!?!  Then, my husband got home, not in the mood to do anything.  The downfalls of marriage, I suppose.

So, how do you make your husband desire you?? Am I the only lady with these problems?  I want him to want me as much as he did when we began dating.  I want him to grab me unexpectedly and kiss me passionately!!  That's all I ask, and lately, more frequently.  Hormones out the roof!!

Which brings me to my last post topic.  So, I believe I may be pregnant.  Why?  I just have this feeling that I may be.  I'm supposed to be on my period right now, but it isn't really late.  I'm experiencing PMS, but who knows, pregnancy symptoms too?  I think I may be, but at the same time,  I'm trying to put those thoughts aside so that I don't get disappointed when Aunt Flow does show.  Juan seems to be more worried than looking forward to the opportunity.  Either way, I'll be fine.  It wouldn't be planned if its not.  But, still, it would be nice.

We'll see.  And like that, I'm out!

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